He Said, She Said - A Few Quotes to Make Life Suck Less

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
- W.C Fields

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Living in dreams of yesterday, we find ourselves still dreaming of impossible future conquests.
- Charles Lindbergh

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
 - Mae West

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to
come back home
- Bill Crosby

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- Joan Rivers

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- W.C. Fields

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we have no idea where the hell she is.
 - Ellen DeGeneres

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
 - Jay Leno

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
- Scott Adams